I Miss It=)

I really don't know how to start this post of mine. I don't know how long have I been feeling this way. I guess just recently? Or maybe a long time ago, just that I've been avoiding it. Well, to make it clear. I miss falling in love and loving a person and falling head over heels for that person over and over again. By the way, I'm not referring to any particular person. After that whole BIG MESS. I've decided to really appreciate the time that I have right now as a teenager to plan ahead on what I should do in the future. And to really focus on what I'm doing now and what I am suppose to do now. Example, study(hate it), practicing,(piano and violin since maybe I wanna be a music teacher or somebody who is involve in an orchestral band) and helping my Father in heaven to shepherd His flock. I thought I could really be consistant. But the truth is, sometimes I can't. Because of all the temptations of the world and there are just so many distractions. It just makes me lose track. But I thank God that He has been pulling me back to the right track everytime I get side tracked. Sometimes, some of my friends keep asking me. Who do I like?. And I keep telling them theres nobody that I'm interested in right now. They totally don't believe me. Believe or not. I really have no interest in anybody at all right now. Whether you guys believe it or not. I really DON'T! Even if I do, I wouldn't even be clear abt it or even realize it. Because I'm swamped by all these things to do and all these messed up emotions that I used to have and STILL have it now. Sorry that I've disappointed you my friends. But this IS the truth. Well, the thing is.. Truly just last month. I started missing that feeling that I once had before. I kept telling myself that I was just imagining things, lying to myself or some sort. And trying to avoid it everytime I miss it. Now, the feeling has beaten me up. And so, I can't hide it anymore. Thats why today I make this post. I told God everyday that He must help me with my emotions and to stop me from screwing up again. Because I can't afford to lose myself again just because of the feeling 'love'. I think before, why I was lost. Because, that fella is not meant for me. And that I was still so young and so naive. And til now I AM still young but not as naive as before. I keep telling my Father everyday "Daddy.. I don't want to feel this way or miss this feeling right now.. So please take it away from me and keep it until the right 1 comes"... Sometimes even saying it for so many times makes me wanna cry so badly. But my Father in heaven assures me that I will be just fine. Because He will give me that endless love that I need. And that whenever I miss it. He will be by my side telling me that it's alright to feel this way once in a while. And He tells me that my knight with shining armor will come for me 1 day. I believe in my Daddy's words. Because He never breaks His words. I love what I have right now. My loving parent's, my cell members, my friends. Its all that I need right now. And its all that I ever will need. In the future, when my Daddy brings my prince charming to me. I believe that I have gained more. Not more ppl in my life. But more love and colors in my life. I love my Daddy. No matter what happiness or blessings that He has put in my life. I will always remember that it is Him that I should love more. My Abba Father is always my 1st priority in life. And theres no other. =)

You are all that I need Daddy.. Thank You for holding onto me=)