Its Been Long

It has been long ever since I was intune with music. Exams are over. During exams, it was really hard for me to practice the piano as I was really focused on studying. And, I've not been listening to classical for quite some time now. 3 weeks plus I guess.. Hey, I'm having exams kay? Can't blame me for that. I just felt really far away from the music that I love dearly. And felt like I have not been in tune with it. It feels horrible.


It felt like something was missing. And the funny thing was, I feel kind of lazed out. I see it standing there. Waiting to be played by me. And yet, I didn't. I want to play it SO BAD. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I guess I have the mind set of, since I've not been playing so long. Why not wait for another day to do it.

I think this is what we call as procrastination. I think if I keep on doing this to myself. I'm afraid that I will lose the essence of music. The feel, the warmth, the stories and everything else in it will slowly fade away and its back to square ONE. I DO NOT want that to happen at all! I despise the feeling of beginning again and going back to square one coz I worked hard during the process. I know I am FAR BEHIND from reaching the professional standard. But I am almost there.

And it really felt like I'm rolling down the road. Gosh, can't I ever be consistent!!! I dislike that abt myself so so so much!!! Lord, change my heart! I need You to give me the strength and the perseverence to change myself for the better Lord.....






"music.. let me feel the breeze and the essence from you again.."

Getting Low

Okay, now.. look at the time. Its already 11.30 pm when I am typing all this. I have never blog at this time before (just to let you know). Btw, as you all know form 5s are having their exams. (If you read other blog owners who are having SPM this year). I have finished my one week exam and preparing for another two weeks. HUURRRAAyyyyyyyyyyyyy.... Yeah, not that awesome at all. Today, I attended GTPJ's 1st WORSHIP MEETING IN 2009!! I really think that what Ps.Gwen said was right. A lot of us just do it like business or treat it as work. It shouldn't be that way. It should be an experience, it should be different everytime we do it. And another thing she said was, we shouldn't think that God only works in a box. And we limit Him that way. Always know and believe that God can work in every way and it is just up to us to bring it.

I have to say this, of course whenever I do sound I will do it with the presence of the Lord. I would always ask Him for guidance and strength. But, I don't really have the joy of doing it. As in, I'm always thinking about 'oh man.. I'm just SO TIRED.. aIyo.. later have to roll the cable somemore la..'.. And I realize today that, that is N0T HOW IT SHOULD BE!! Serving Him is one thing and worshiping Him is another. I'm honoured to serve Him and all. But am I worshipping Him as I serve Him?? Am I a worshipper of Christ? The reason why John(a diciple of Christ) can spot and feel His presence (after Jesus died but rose on the 3rd day) is because He is a worshipper of Christ.

And I realize now. THat right now, my spirit juice is all used up. I have not been worshipping Him and even when I do sound or serve Him right now. I can't feel Him. Its not like He is not with me. HE IS.. He has always been there. Its just that I am not reaching out to Him. I can't let this happen anymore. I need to get back right on track with Him. I feel lost. All these crazy things happening right now. I mean, its not that bad things are happening (can I consider exams as bad??? =P). There is just so much going through my mind lately. I think it is call growing??

I want to take music course next time when I go to college.(classical music).. But I am just WAYYYYY behind. I am not up to that standard yet. I am just so worried that I can't make it. I'm so AFRAID of everything. My parent's keep telling me about how much money I can make being a music teacher or something like that. Yeah, I wanna be a music teacher that inspires my students to love music with a pure heart and play with a pure heart as well. And at the same time, I would really LOVE LOVE LOVE to be involve in the orchestra. ANd YES! Money is definitely very important in the reality world(to live and survive of course).. But what if I just want to do it because I love it? Is that so wrong? I know the road is going to be tough. But tell me, how many successful people in this whole wide world have not gone through tough times in their lives in order to be successful?? How many of us have to go through that grooling process in order to score good results??

Everything as to start small and then slowly it becomes BIG. Through that process, it takes a lot of hard work, dedication and perseverance. I know that, but I am just so afraid that I will give up half way and disappoint my parent's. I really do not want to let that happen. I can't afford to lose. But in order to be successful, I guess you have to taste defeat once then you'll get up right?? Well, if this is what I have to go through in order to achieve greatness. Then I guess I will do it!

Lord, I may be going through a LOT OF STORMS in the future. But I will always be STILL and know You are GOd..

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

I know that this is a much delayed post. But hey.. At last I posted it kay? Haha. Well, I was kind of disappointed that I didn't get my mum anything this year. I really wanted to get her something by using my savings. But, she urged me not to. She just said the usual normal thing. 'If you be a good girl, study hard and get good results.. That is a good enough mother's day present for me already'. I mean, definitely MOTHER'S DAY is way more special than anything else. Of course being a good girl getting good grades are a good present. But, that is my responsibility as a student and as a child. So, I don't think that it is considered as a present at all.

We did celebrate MOTHER'S DAY with her though. I did say that it is a very special event right? haha. My dad decided to go to klang to eat seafood.(AWESOME!). Don't just think its JUST seafood! But added the fun and the time spent with my mum. It was PRICELESS! I didn't take any pix cause I didn't bring my camera =P. Sowie.. Haha! Theres this funny thing that my bro(Romeo) said that made us all laugh when we arrive there.

Romeo: Eh...?
Me: WHat??
Romeo: Why NO SEA 1??!
Mum, Dad & Rino(youngest bro): *Started laughing*
Me: Aiyo... We are only here to eat seafood la.. why? you want the SEA to go together with the food as well mehhhh???
Romeo: Aiya... You all say eat seafood ma.. So when eat seafood that time of course must have a SEA there ma.. If not.. what is call seafood??
Mum, Dad & Rino: *laughs even louder*
Me: -.-"... Whatever you say la.. Since we're here already. I am not going anywhere.
Romeo: Okay lo.. *tries to push my mum out of the restaurant with him*

Yes, my brother IS lame. Basically my whole family is kind of lame. (Genes from the dad and mum). We really had fun talking eating laughing and talking somemore. I really love it when I see my mum laugh or smile. You will really fall in love with it. According to my dad, he fell in love with her laugh and her smile when they first dated. Aww... so sweet.. Hee.. Well, heres a really short poem for my mum..

GOD made a wonderful mother,
A mother who never grows old,
He made her smile of the sunshine,
And He molded her heart of pure gold,
In her eyes He placed bright shining stars,
In her cheeks, fair roses you see,
God made a wonderful mother,
And He gave that dear mother to me.

God truly blessed me with an awesome mum. She is never the best and she will never be the best mum in the whole wide world. But she is just perfect for me. =).. I hate it so much sometimes when she keeps telling me that I have to be strong and grow up because she is going to leave this world one day and that she will not be by my side all the time. I know of this ever since I was very young. But I really dislike hearing it. It breaks my heart so much when she says that. But I guess its just the way she helps me to be strong and grow. The one thing that makes me cry and worry about her is seeing all the grey hair on her head. The more I see all the grey hair on her head. It gives me the impression that she is getting older. And it gives me the same impression whenever we celebrate her birthday. ='(.. I love her good night kisses, her silly little childish acts and her tickles every now and then.



I LOVE YOU MUMMY.. AND A HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU!! =] XOXOXO!!

My New 'Husband'

Yup.. I have a new husband.. And his name is Park Shi Hoo. A korean actor with an extremely handsome face with a rock hard figure and a HUGE smile on his face whenever he smiles.. *drools*. Yes, he is now my 'husband'. *Laughs out loud*. If anyone don't know him or haven't seen him before. He starred in korean dramas such as 'Iljimae' and 'Family Honour'. Which are both one of the most high rated korean dramas so far in 2008 and 2009. Now lets look at my new 'hubby'. Shall we??

Awww.. I dream of angels everytime I look at his smile.. XP

OMG!! *DROOLS* XD

Hot hot hot hot...!!

Isn't he just so awesome?? I love him to bits! Hahahahaha!!

Thank You God for creating such a beautiful creation... Ngeheheh...

Esther Ngeow

There is someone extremely adorable, sweet and bright that I want to introduce to you guys. She came into this world three years ago. And she is none other than my little miss sunshine.. ESTHER!!! (my cousin sis).. She'll be living with me and my family for a while. Due to some probs at home. Well, not gonna let you guys wait any longer (especially carr ine =P).. Here are some pics!

I know.. She is just so cute right?? She likes to smile a lot.. and I mean... A LOT! Only to the ones that she is close to of course.. XP... hahaha!! Anyway, bye everyone!!

WILL BE UPDATING ABOUT MY BABY COUSIN SISTER SOON!! SO STAY TUNE! =)