Flashbacks from the Past...(A Testimony)

I remember when i was a little girl. I never liked going to school. Coz school to me is a really unfriendly and a scary place. And everytime when my mum sends me to school. I would end up going home for the next few hours, becoz i kept crying and kept holding on to her legs until she gave up. Haha! Hey i'm not ashamed of it you know. Coz thats who I am and who I used to be. Theres nothing for me to be ashamed of. Dare to do it dare to face it. And er.. I remember that last time when i was like 9-12 years old. I was known to be an abusive sister to my brothers. Know why?? Coz everytime they make a single mistake. I would slap them and beat them, until sometimes their faces or even hands or legs get all the bums and blue blacks. Trust me. I was really scary at that time. And my parent's would always scold me like "why you beat your brothers until like that??!!! Cannot like that 1!! If i beat you like that you want or not??!!" my answer to them was always like this "you say if they noty must teach them ma...somemore.. you all always beat me 1 if i noty.." and you know whats their reaction?? they got stunned and kept quiet and just leave me alone for a while. Which is always a really funny thing to me when i was a little girl. And theres this 1 time when my bro(romeo), he was beaten by me until he's face almost got beaten so badly until a little bit of blood came out. And at times when i got so abusive. I would seriously choke them you know. I'm serious. It happened before. You can ask my brothers if you want to. Call me a bad sister or whatsoever. I don't mind. Coz i AM a bad sister( when i was really young of course). But, i'm ok now. I learn how to teach them in a professional way. And not in a caning and beating way. Wanna know why do i always think that teaching means beating when i was so much younger?? Thats becoz when my parent's always say that their gonna teach me a lesson or something. They always end up caning me until i bleed or something like that. No no..i don't blame my parent's. Their good. Their just asking me to obey them by caning. I bet everyone of you experienced it before.Haha! Sure it hurts.. and i mean a lot!! But its fine, at least i know a bit of what are the consequences that you have to face by not obeying your parent's.Hahaha.. And er..i always do the most stupiest and the silliest things last year and also when i was 14. I always tend to crack or twist my hands, legs, knees and ankles.When i was 14 and 15. I got hurt a lot by my family members friends etc etc. A lot of things were going on in family in those few years. And erm...as a young girl i was really foolish. I thought that the feeling that i feel deeply crushed and hurt in my heart. Can be replaced by hurting myself physicly. (For your information, i was born with very very low calcium. So i tend to get injuries very easily) So, i start to play badminton a lot and a lot. And being clumsy a lot. And pushing myself to do those activities too hard til its over my limits. And guess what?? I twisted my elbow my ankle my legs. Yeah.. what a stupid girl right?? But then, i know that. What i feel inside can't be replaced. Even if i break my head or whatsoever. The pain in my heart still can't be compared by any injuries. I knew that all along. And i knew what i was doing. I guess i was just trying to be stubborn or things like that. But now, i'm a more grown person. I'm stronger than before. And i believe that with God. I can reach through all my limits in life. I can do anything through Christ. I just gotta believe, have faith and be strong. When you feel lonely, weak, useless or retarded. And when you've got no1 to turn to. You can always turn to somebody. You can't see Him. You won't even know him. But He's always with you. And He knows you. And He is God. Like the song says.." He knows my name.. He knows my every thought.. He sees each tear that falls.. And hears me when i call.." I hope that erm.. This testimony has really helped you guys a lot. Theres more for me to say.. But i'll stop here 1st.. BYEZ......XOXO!

!~**!PrINcESs MiA!**~!