Celebrating & Announcing..

that I am the world's dumbest person in the whole wide world.. YEAH BABY!! AWESOME Right?!

I wonder if I have my name in the Guiness World Record as the dumbest person??? Well, might as well just check it out right?? MAn.. I just love being told and scolded that I'm dumb..

I'll give it a THUMBS UP! No WAIT.. Make it TWO THUMBS UP! WoooHOOO... I'm so superbly PROUD OF IT! :)

P.S: SARCACISM ROCKS SOCKS!! :D

Growing Pains Perhaps?

Just when I thought everything is falling apart. You picked me up and tell me. Don't stress yourself like that. The reason why nothing is moving because you're trying to run things too perfectly in life. Why don't you try to let go and let them do their own thing? It is worth the shot. You need to let go. Put it all on Me. Run with My strength and your's.

I listened, but I never took Your words seriously. I wanted to follow. But it seems so BIG to me. That I thought it would be best that I take it all to myself. I've already been burned and burst out for consecutive times. But why am I not listening? I really don't know. I guess I am too stubborn to follow Your instructions. That I hurt myself so much.

You pleaded and spoke to me so many times about it and yet I did not move. I was too comfortable in hurting myself and too comfortable with doing it on my own when I know I can't hold on much longer. Tears come in the middle of the night everyday. Thinking why oh why does this happen to me?

Finally, when You couldn't stand seeing me this way anymore. You asked help from one of Your servant whom You know that I would listen to. And You really shook me up. I am awaken by Your love and Your awareness of me. Now I know, every bad thing that is going on. Is because of my own doings. The reasons why they are not growing are also cause of me.

I will now follow and lead Your flocks on how You want me to do it. Thank You so much for not giving up on me. Lord, You are the best God, the best Father and the bestest Friend that anybody can find in this whole wide world. I am blessed and lucky to have You in my life. I am growing.. And I will continue to grow more and more each day. So Abba, help me and don't let me go. Your all I need.

P.S: My dears.. I will try my best to be a Happy cell leader for you guys.. :).. Don't worry.. I will be fine..

Eyes on Thee

I seriously have my eyes on Choi Siwon(a member of Super Junior). He is so tall, manly, has a nice body too. I just recently realise that I like man who are slightly taller than me, a fit body, a touch of manliness and cuteness on the face. The one below is definitely perfect. (But I think Channing is perfect too=] ) wahahahahaha!!!! XD... Don't mind me, I'm just a little kookoo right now. Single lady ma.. What to do?? Ngehehehehe....

Just look at him! *drools*...

Super Junior- Sorry Sorry

Here is a song call "Sorry Sorry" by Super Junior. It's been quite long since I've heard of those guys. Looking even more mature and cooler right now. Not to mention cuter *sparkling eyes*. Their dance moves and their songs are good and upbeat as always but theres a little bit of flavour this time. Hope you guys enjoy watching the video and listening to the song at the same time.

Anyway, didn't go to school today coz I was seriously super tired because of yesterday. I've never been so tired before. Well, I think though I was doing things non-stop the whole day yesterday.. I think its because I've not been sleeping well lately. I've really been not normal nowadays. I don't sleep like I usually do. Which is suppose to be 6-7 hours a day. Nowadays ever since the sports day(which is around feb). I've been sleeping for min 3 hours and maximum 5 hours a day. I always go to bed at 11 something. But I just CAN'T FALL ASLEEP!!!

And guess what?? Until yesterday, it was just really quite hectic for me that suprisingly, I fell asleep! But then I woke up all the sudden in the middle of the night. Felt really dizzy and I totally blackouted! My systems were shut! When my mum woke me up, it was almost six in the morning. So, she decided that I stay at home for the day. (thank you mummy=] )

Just thinking too much about studies, music, God's word and about so many weird and dumb things every night. I just can't stop it!! Am I pressuring myself too much or am I just going nuts? Its like everyday is the same. You go to school, you pay attention in class, you go home and do your homework, you study and then you sleep. Another thing besides than school is of course the piano and the Cell. If I were to take studies, piano and the cell away, guess which one I would take away? Studies of course.. DUH! It has been stressing me like CRAZY! wait.. Scrape that.. Everything is stressing me out!.. I'm not good enough!! I'm not good enough in studies, I'm not good enough in playing the piano and I'm not good enough as a cell leader!

I wanna be the best that I can, but everytime I try to practice it and to be good at the things I do. I get so TIRED and FRUSTATED that I give up! Is this the matter of patience?? Lord, have You not trained me well enough to be more patient in the things that I do and trying to be good at it?? I really failed as of everything that I do. I really gotta pick myself back up. This is not right. I'm not suppose to be like this. This is just not me. I'm good and I know I am. I just gotta activate that switch in my body and in my soul. But how Lord? Teach me and lead me will You please? I promise I will listen.

"To achieve greatness, it requires perseverance, patience, a good mentality and spirit.."

What Happened Exactly??

Well, in conjunction of my previous post. I would like to actually let you all know what had happened. It started like this. My dad had stomach pain for about 3 days and have been doing BIG business non-stop for 3 days. I've asked him if he should visit the doctor but trying to act all tough and not showing his fears he said 'No'. I asked him, which part of your tummy aches?? He pointed on the left side. And CRASH!!! All those negative thoughts went into my mind. It hurts at his colon. (Btw, there are 5 different stypes and sides of colons in our intestines). It still hurts until the 5th day, he couldn't take it anymore. He was worried himself and I just really said "Daddy, you NEED to see the doctor". And suprisingly he says "Okay I will".

You see.. The reason why I was so freaking worried is because, my grandmother(my dad's mother) died 14 years ago because of colon cancer. Which means that my dad or any of my uncles and aunties could have or would inherit the sickness. When my dad said that side of his intestine hurts. I really can't help but to think of all sorts of crazy things. I really can't bear to see my dad going into surgery room, needles poking into his flesh, going through chemotherapy and becoming bold, and the worst part of all bad things. Seeing him d.i.e. (in the name of Jesus Christ let that word be cut off from my mouth and from my life and my dad's life. Amen! =P)

I was really crying and praying a lot. And guess what?? When my dad went to see the doctor. He came home with good news=). It was nothing serious. But there is an ulcer growing in his big intestine. Which means that he has to watch what he eats and he needs to exercise more and drink more water! All of these things going on, I am just SO glad that my daddy is alright=]. Just want to thank you Father again for having mercy and grace upon my dad. You are truly and awesome God. When You said that You will never leave me nor forsake me, You really did mean it. Thank you so much :). I Love You forever and always.