Growing Pains Perhaps?

Just when I thought everything is falling apart. You picked me up and tell me. Don't stress yourself like that. The reason why nothing is moving because you're trying to run things too perfectly in life. Why don't you try to let go and let them do their own thing? It is worth the shot. You need to let go. Put it all on Me. Run with My strength and your's.

I listened, but I never took Your words seriously. I wanted to follow. But it seems so BIG to me. That I thought it would be best that I take it all to myself. I've already been burned and burst out for consecutive times. But why am I not listening? I really don't know. I guess I am too stubborn to follow Your instructions. That I hurt myself so much.

You pleaded and spoke to me so many times about it and yet I did not move. I was too comfortable in hurting myself and too comfortable with doing it on my own when I know I can't hold on much longer. Tears come in the middle of the night everyday. Thinking why oh why does this happen to me?

Finally, when You couldn't stand seeing me this way anymore. You asked help from one of Your servant whom You know that I would listen to. And You really shook me up. I am awaken by Your love and Your awareness of me. Now I know, every bad thing that is going on. Is because of my own doings. The reasons why they are not growing are also cause of me.

I will now follow and lead Your flocks on how You want me to do it. Thank You so much for not giving up on me. Lord, You are the best God, the best Father and the bestest Friend that anybody can find in this whole wide world. I am blessed and lucky to have You in my life. I am growing.. And I will continue to grow more and more each day. So Abba, help me and don't let me go. Your all I need.

P.S: My dears.. I will try my best to be a Happy cell leader for you guys.. :).. Don't worry.. I will be fine..