Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Grief..



Yesterday wasn't really a good at all. Failed my driving test. Was so FRUSTATED becoz during practices, my slopes are good and okay... But during the exam... I didn't do well on the slope at all.. In fact, I released the clutch a bit too much and didn't step on the accelerator hard enough and the engine broke down-.-".. I thought I was SO going to pass yesterday but I didn't... -.-".... Even my driving instructor said that I was sure going to pass... Mana tau? This happened... Gggrrrr... How can I not be frustated? I was doing fine all the while and suddenly this crap happens! Haihz... I was really grieved about it...

And really wasn't satisfied at all. I felt even WORSE when one of the worker there (an old malay dude...) SO SARCASTICALLY said to me "Amoi~ turun turun... awak sudah buat cukup baik... sudah SANGAT baik la amoi~"... -.-!!... The way he said it was SO freaking sarcastic man!! I was so clueless on whats going on and was in a state of blurness already and yet this uncle came to me and tried to make fun of me... I wanted to just ask him to SHUT UP wei...


Anyway, went home and told my parents' about it at night... I got so worked up about it and got even MORE angrier... And I CANNOT believe that I cursed! Yes... for the 1st time in SUCH A LOONNGGG TIME... Emelia Cheng Voon Hooi cursed... -.-"... Nope.. not the F word.. But a mandarin word that my mum always used when shes EXTREMELY mad... And I have to say that after saying it.. I was NOT PROUD of myself at all. I could feel my Holy Spirit calling. He must've been like.. "Aiyo.. Emelia... why act on your grief??"
Yup, I felt really bad. Went home to repent and apologize to God. The thing is, many times in our lives. Failure, challenges, problems, obstacles and etc can bring us down and we may allow grief to take over us. I really allowed it to take over me yesterday. I know that to you people, probably cursing and stuff is nothing. But do you realize that the more often you do it, the more you get addicted to it. From cursing, it can lead to hurting people around you or even yourself. And, its a RUDE thing to say.

So yea, what I've learned yesterday is to not let gried take over us. And any other negative emotions to drown us. I can say that I was kinda drowned by it yesterday. But I'm all okay now with His words and reminders. Thank You, God :)




"The intergrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity." Proverbs 11:3



1 comment:

Zew Mei Fong said...

Hey babe.

No big deal ya? I failed my slope too! I totally understand how you feel. Try again okaaay. I passed the second time. Hehe.. *hugs*