Saturday, June 19, 2010

Change

So much had happened lately and I just don't know where to start or what to say. Theres 2 things in life that I really dislike most. Which is CHANGE and REJECTION/BEING HURT. Well, been through quite a lot for this week and its just suddenly so heavy that I just somehow feel that I'm not strong enough to bear it. I admit that I did cry. But, it is through Him that I was able to pull through it step by step.

Right now, learning how to let go of some1 really dear to me is another task at hand. I really don't know if I can take another heartbreak or let another person go anymore. It feels like I've let go a lot of things in life. And every time that I do, it feels like something NEW. And every time it happens it is never easier. But harder. :')... I always hated the fact that I have to let something go even though I really love it. Who likes it anyway? But we have to when it just happens right?

Right now, I don't even know what I'm talking abt. Lol.. Its like, everything is splashed on a piece of paper but with very ugly colours. Went to church today and of course, its FATHER'S DAY!! =)... I really cried a lot becoz of what is happening. And at the same time, I felt really really really BAD becoz I'm crying while I should be joyful. Its Father's Day for goodness sake! And I'm suppose to wish my Father in Heaven a Happy Father's Day but instead I'm crying.. -.-"...

While I was crying, I kept saying to God. "Daddy... I'm really really sorry... I know that I shouldn't cry especially when its Father's Day. I'm really sorry that I'm crying right now.. I really am sorry. :'("... But my Father was gracious of me. He told me "Its okay... Just cry... Just don't give up.. DON'T GIVE UP!"... I can't help but to cry even MORE. I just felt like an UNDYING LOVE and SUPPORT from Him just POURED upon me. And I felt His hugs. When I felt all those, I just couldn't stop crying. I COULDN'T!! I HAVE to be STRONG not for myself but for GOD. Because He needs me just as much as I need HIM!!

Its not going to be easy. But I will DO MY BEST because my Father loves me! Right now, I will just take my time to heal while I look upon Him :')



"Letting go of you is the hardest thing for me right now. But doing it without God, would have killed me...."



Lord, I trust in You. Therefore, I lean on You and Your strength right now...


P.S- HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL THE FATHERS! AND TO YOU, DADDY IN HEAVEN ULTIMATELY!!! =)



*holding on to God*

1 comment:

Zew Mei Fong said...

Hey babe. I might not know what you are going through but know that Im always here for you k? Let me know if you need anything. I'll keep you in prayer. Stay strong :)