Saying that this is not enough that is not enough. So I ended up doing the same thing with myself. Comparing with others on how well they can play the piano. Funny how thats the only thing that I compare with. Coz theres nothing else that I love than the piano you see. (God is not counted kays? coz He's more special) When I kept comparing I felt more and more tired. And more and more frustated with myself. Sometimes when comparing I criticize others. Let's just say that I'm being extremely self-centered and selfish. Comparing to the point where I don't even bother anymore. As I grew up, I learn by myself that comparing is really really a BAD BAD thing. It hurts me hard and it hurts others as well. The one thing that I've learned is to beat myself at the game. In other words, to improve myself everytime. Where does the insipiration come from? Simple, God and to see others play. Nowadays, watching others play isn't some kind of threat to me anymore. Instead, its a learning process for me. Seeing how they play, the way their fingers work. Definitely inspires me bit by bit. And it definitely helps me to improve more. Sometimes critisism helps too. When my teacher says this and that. Sometimes it does intimadate me and I really do ask myself sometimes "am I that bad?".
But it really helps me to improve until I put a smile on my teacher's face. Whenever I start comparing again. I tell myself all the time. Beat yourself at the game. God didn't give me this gift to hurt myself or to hurt others. Its a gift to share with others and to share the love. Another thing is, competitions. I never see whats the point of going for musical competitions. For me, its a way of boasting yourself, shouting out loud and telling others how good you are this and that. But in other words, its also to prove how good you are to yourself and to others. But I seriously don't encourage going into musical competitions. But its good if you want to improve yourself or something. Coz the process of those competitions are hardcore. One can seriously grow a lot from participating. Exams exams exams. One of the things I hate most when I was young. But now for me, its a way to see how well I can do. Definitely right now, I like exams. Not to say that I'm crazy about exams. I do stress about it a lot at times. But at the end I learn more and gain more. The results sometimes, could be agony. You'll be worrying about how well you get like crazy. I remember when I was 11. It was my grade 2 piano exam. I went in telling myself "its just another exam, play like how you would play it". Thats how I'll keep telling myself everytime my teacher ask me to play. During the process of preparing for exams. It definitely improves the way that I play. Playing with satistaction is what I do every practice. I really don't mind playing for hours and hours non stop. Coz its what I enjoy. Even though my pinky(my last finger). Would hurt a lot. I'll just stop for 5 mins and continue again. My pinky is always a problem when I practice. Its so short and small. But, that just means that I need to practice more right? I really love playing the piano. Not playing it for 4 years really gives me a fear for touching it again. But now that I've overcome it, I appreciate what I have now more and more. Thank You God so much.
"I play not just because I love it, but because of a passion"
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