His Ways and Not Mine

I remembered suddenly yesterday about what Pastor Julie said during camp, "Let God be God". I know this even way before youth camp, but never seem to do what is being said. Many times in life, I like to have things my own way or even do things my own way. And sometimes even go ahead of God's plan and decide something for myself. The very lesson that I learnt from not "Letting God be God" was last year.

I've always had this desire to have a family of my own ever since I was 12. It is my heart's desire obviously. But in the process, I don't want to do the wrong thing or be with the wrong person just because of this desire of mine (which becomes dangerous if I give into my own heart and ways). Fell in love last year, felt that it was really special. Prayed about it and asked God, but I was too impatient for the answer. Concluded that he might be the one for me and practically led each other on for quite awhile. At the end, it bruised me so bad. Cause as I was happily ignoring God's answer and could only hear what I WANT and not what GOD WANTS. And yes, at the end, God had to speak to me REAL LOUDLY, and it hit me with a BANG.

I told myself over and over again, the next guy that I fall for, I'm going to pray, pray and PRAY until God answers! I'm going to WAIT patiently and not make a move. But just let God lead things where He wants it to be. Not going to make the same mistake over again. Just letting Him be Him right now. At the same time, enjoying my singlehood as much as I can :) At this time, I just want to seek Him first and not bother about the things where He won't be giving to me at this time yet. Gonna trust in His ways and His timing in my life. Because He knows best! :)

I don't want to be led astray just because of what I want or what my heart desires. That, in my opinion, would be the saddest thing ever to happen. It's not wrong to desire to get married and stuff, but it becomes wrong when God is not the center of attention of it (get what I mean?). If I were to be with someone, it has got to be God's plan, timing and way. And no, no other than that! I want to lead life now, trusting Him, following Him wherever He leads me and waiting patiently for my PRESSIE to come one day! :) <3

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matt 6:33